God? Why?

When a kid, I used to believe I could lay in bed at night and have someone listen to my worries and my sorrows, I was directly misled into believing that there was this person just ready to hear our cries for help whenever we were feeling down and troubled. Understanding this, I went straight ahead towards this person's hands to pour all my suffering on him and then, maybe, I hoped that he would take the parts and re-arrange them until I could feel things were just a little better.

Strangely enough, that never happened, as much as people kept repeating the same story over and over again. I felt no one at night sitting there with me, nor did anyone reply whenever I'd shout these words within my mental frame. "Why? Why did my dad stop loving my mother?", "Why? Why is it that we're having problems and other families aren't?". Soon I realized that none of those words were really being heard by someone. I felt deceived just like when I found out Santa Claus didn't exist.

After you break out of this bubble that a lot of people live in just for the sake of feeling safe, you realize that this lie left behind is just another obstacle between heaven and earth, preventing you from the safest landing possible, where you then, learn how to use your feet and be up on them, handling your own affairs without the hand from this outsider that quietly watches over us for his own pleasure, the outsider that claims to have perfect judgment but at the same time being the most merciful, contradicting himself from all that perfect judgment truly means.

The people captured in this little spark of life blindly believe that they're not to make this world a better place in hope of this deity to come and rule all evil out of this globe, yet, by being evil to the same ones he professes to love. Running out of this reality I've come to the realization that none of it really matters, it's useless to cling yourself to that dream of the Lord, the son and the Holy Spirit, they will not solve your troubled mind, and they will not be of any help.

I've learned the hard way that once you gaze into the deep void you call your soul and for the first time, stare at the devil's eye, all fear will be gone... and only then, will you finally understand that once you no longer fear the devil, there is no more need to believe in God.